PCDA of Loyalty....

Loyalty is a strong word. However, you will understand the connotationas I go through with this write-up. I call it the PCDA cycle..... (a la Deming's PDCA cycle). Each ofthese cycles of loyalty is roughly 15 years in span and as the acronymindicates has 4 phases. They are P- Loyalty to one's Parents C - Loyalty to one's Consort (spouse) D - Loyalty to one's Duties (Farz in urdu) A - Loyalty to the Almighty The wonderful thing is that these phases of loyalty are not contiguous at least in modern context. Typically, there are small gaps in between that I call "Breaks for Self Gratification" (BfSG). These periods of hiatus cumulate also to about 15 years like PCDA but come in 2 or 3 installments. Let me begin to explain Loyalty to one's Parents This is simple. The first 15 years of one's life is to be spent in being loyal to one's parents, listening to their advice, doing what they bid us to do and being so totally loyal to it with a simple philosophy that they know what is best for us. No issue so far, right? Now comes the first installment of BfSG of about 8-10 years where one could typically attend to one's calling, do what one wants in life and gratify himself or herself in whatever way possible no questions asked...... Nevertheless, most of us spend these important years, and rightly so, in studies andsetting up our career paths. However, no hard and fast rules about this as to what one should do. Of course, your parents are around to tell you what to do but note that this is BfSG time and you dont haveto follow their advice. Also, some of us extend this beyond the 8-10 years limit to "enjoy life" but beware as you could be eating into your second BfSG installment that comes around 40 years of age. Loyalty to one's Consort (Spouse) No contest here...... this is the phase when you get married and ideally a time to be totally dedicated and loyal to your spouse, start a family and cooperate and collaborate with your spouse in all ways to make your home and family a truly wonderful place. This phase again lasts for 15 years and closes by 38 - 40 yrs of one's age. (Author's Footnote: Many of us get confused during this phase and aretorn between loyalty to spouse versus loyalty to parents and end up"really screwing it up" rather badly. This author's no exception.... I see it as a "no brainer" - this phase is only for the spouse - parents have had their time. Hence no contest. Any kid reading this... Pls pay attention!) Then, comes the next installment of BfSG but this time of about 5 - 7years span or whatever's left from the first BfSG installment :-). Youcould again do what you need to do for yourself...... :-). Typically, most people try and build their careers in this phase by working very hard and leaving many of the chores to their spouse like bringing up the kids, running the home etc. Really no problems with that so long as you make it up in the next Loyalty phase! Yes.... As promised, this BfSG culminates in the next Loyalty phase at around 45 years of age. Loyalty to one's Duties This is an important phase in one's life. The need here is to be loyal not to people (parents, self, spouse) but for the first time in your life for a cause. And the cause clearly is one's duties as defined by the Society or its norms. It could be one of taking care of old parents, paying for children's education, saving up money for child's future, education or wedding or also give something back to theSociety. It is a time to quietly and uncomplainingly "pay-up" all the bills and put out your credit card quietly for those third pair of designer slippers or suit that your spouse MUST have for the party/meeting next week or those Platinum or Diamond jewellery . It isalso a time for deep introspection and of quiet contemplation and not one of verbal discourses 'cos whatever you say would go unheeded or would be the start of unwanted skirmishes at home that will mess the delicate peace in the family. Fortunately, most people have "matured" by now and know how to keep a studied silence about the "goings on" and become truly "duty-bound" but few others may need some "advice" or "training".Thankfully, this phase lasts only 15 years and you are also in theprime of your career by now and can afford many of the "excesses". It is certainly the most difficult time of one's life but remember thatyour loyalties have to be only to your "duties" at hand ;-). ;-) Author's note: go figure that one for yourself.... I am not getting involved here) Loyalty to the Almighty This is obvious...... right? Once you have gone through the Duty phase and survived it, this phase follows almost seamlessly, if you are still alive, that is!!!! Ha ha ha!! This is the time to completely sink yourself into spirituality and other religious/charitable pursuits that you have been putting off for another day. Be loyal to that 'cos you are gonna be gone pretty soon and it is time you made some kind of a mark for yourself as a person in this World. I would say, this phase ideally lasts about 15 years but could be longer for more dogged souls, of course, if it is beyond 15, take it that the good Lord has given you a bonus.... another tranche of BfSG. So you can once again say and do the darndest things after that, if you are still UP and running that is.... :-) (is that why 75+ people say and do whatever they feel like?). Go forth and analyse this..... it will make total sense after awhile.... trust me.... I also figured as I was writing, may be this why our forefathers very insightfully joined in matrimony people with a big gap in ages, typically 8 to 10 years between them. This is probably because they did not want the Loyalty phases to overlap for the partners during their lives and at best, only for a few years, if at all...... Sreeram