We the people.......... Ours the Airline......

Have written enough about “we the people” and thought its time I wrote about what “we the people” created and endure day in and day out. The title, of course, is a dead giveaway. Yes..... My reference is to our flag carrier, i.e., Indian Airlines or more recently called Air India (AI from now on). I do have great respect for this entity not only because it is called in at times of crisis to serve the Nation and its people – be it evacuation of our people from the Gulf or other crisis-prone locales of this world that is home to non-resident Indians but also to serve remote parts of the country that no other private airline will bother to serve. It also has the envious reputation of having trained the first of the crew of a fledgling Singapore Airlines a few decades back. Not too far back in the past, it was also considered a world-class airline by many overseas. But somewhere this enterprise started to falter and go down a path that has put it in a time-warp of sorts. Wonder if it will get back in shape ever. Let me explain.......I have always wondered about one thing. Is it the same people who travel in other airlines that travel AI or just an altogether different crowd, the "AI folks", its dedicated captive clientele. Let's us say the former is true. How then is it possible that the same bunch of people who are so well-behaved on other airlines decide to go completely loco and berserk when they get into an AI plane. Does this mean the concept of "AI folks" is true and existent? You will understand as we go through this write-up. a) "AI folks" sit anywhere they feel like in the plane as if it was all free seating. b) "AI folks" quickly establish a "child-parent" relationship with the stewardesses proving every concept of Eric Berne's transactional analysis.The stewardesses are absolutely happy to "bathe in this glow" of being a "parent". They walk around condescendingly, something a school head-mistress would be proud of, telling her "kids" what to do and what not to do. c) "AI folks" always bring more pieces of luggage than they are permitted and these typically are oversize and don't fit in the overhead lockers.Consequently, the stewards/stewardesses are uniquely trained to overlook gross violations of as regards luggage storage inside the plane - luggage on aisles, empty seats, in front of their neighbours so that they can't stretch their legs - are all allowed d) AI ground personnel always assign emergency rows to children so that the cabin crew can wield their unlimited "parental" powers to reassign every person's seat citing the rule that a child cannot be seated in an emergency row. (I took IC recently and this happened both ways!!) Also read recently that they "adjusted" someone in the toilet on a Lucknow-Delhi flight 'cos the flight was full. Speak about serving frequent fliers. I found that it is quite easy for AI to be no. 1 in on-time performance only if people would go and sit in their right seats the first time around and did not bring so much luggage. Don't these same people behave better when they travel by private airlines. Why would they take such liberties with AI? Is it the same Parent-Child transactional relation at work? Tough to figure.... e) The other thing that grabs your attention as you settle in your seat is the in-flight magazine, Swagat (yeah... right..!!!). Till recently, Swagat used to have on page 1 a general purpose message in AI's unique patronising style. Towards the end of this write-up there used to be a nice sentence that more or less said, "you may have struggled to get tickets for this flight but may find the seat next to you unoccupied.... but that's none of your damn business (am loosely translating here)". How sensitive of AI to be so thoughtful towards its customers... and that too pro-actively. Thankfully they have now replaced this with a "a message from the Chairman..." With a picture of a grey-haired unsmiling bureaucrat who probably thinks passengers are a pain!! Thanks AI for small mercies. f) Patience is one thing that AI teaches you that a Zen guru would be proud of. The staff are so unhurried about mundane things like getting the flight off the ground on time. You would see the ground personnel casually sauntering the aisles even after the Captain has asked the cabin crew to close all the doors (On one AI flight they even had to reopen the doors, push back in the stairs to offload a ground staff who just "forgot" to get off on time!!!). It is amazing how untouched by competition this enterprise really is. g) Cabin crew uniforms on AI has always been intriguing. The men wear navy blue trousers and so-called white shirts (that are always off-white or even yellow). But they wear stripes on their shoulders like an epaulette. In fact, I was so worried once not knowing this. Thought it was the pilot hanging around in the cabin when he should be flying the plane. Someone was kind enough to clarify that that is part of the cabin crew uniform. Phew!! h) The uniforms of women crew has always been interesting. Used to be that Indian Airlines hostesses wore light green or orange saris. Starching or ironing these saris was left to the discretion of the person wearing it. However, Alliance Air, a subsidiary company of IA, had red and black saris and the gals were slimmer and younger and looked quite elegantly prim. I think they were strictly instructed to wear there saris quite "tight", hugging their bodies to create a "brand identity" and "differentiation" for Alliance (ahem!). AI in recent times has adopted this, a welcome change from those days of sartorial terror these women were, given their disastrous vital statistics. This is a positive development indeed!! h) The other group of AI folks are our esteemed members of the parliament (MPs) and ministers. Recently there was directive from the Government that they should travel only by AI and also in "cattle class". These guys were very innovative. They came and sat in economy like good law-abiding citizens - for a whole of 5 mins. The moment the doors were closed, they just simply walked across and occupied all the vacant business class seats as the cabin crew looked on. How about that for an Indian Government directive!! i) Coming back to "AI folks", those die-hard loyalists of our flag carrier..... Among these simple people are also some elitists, possibly a certain privileged class, owing to their position in the Government as bureaucrats or PSU executives.These people have such a great sense of fairness towards other passengers. Why? 'Cos they are equally condescending if not supercilious towards everyone. They never discriminate. The way they look at you, the way they read your rights at the drop of a hat, the way they tell you when you are to switch off your mobiles or laptops.... I even asked one of them quite sacastically if he worked for the airline. He answered in the negative and I pressed on to ask why he would then give instructions to everyone around him as if he was the Captain of the plane. Guess he didn't like my attitude much and kept snickering at me for the next 2 hours from Chennai to Delhi!! j) I have been quite uncharitable all through to this great organisation so let me make amends by saying at least one more thing positive. I love the way they serve food at AI. No plastic but good clean silver - fork, knife, spoons - one for food and one for the beverage. Food is just about palatable but the dessert is absolutely delicious - as always and has been for decades. So that's something they can build back on..... In conclusion, like we the people, ours the airline has a long way to go to regain its greatness. Let us only hope reforms happen quicker than we can imagine.